Savage Times in Whanganui

On December 8th, Leo, Clever and I performed the moving feast that is "At Home" in Whanganui. It is a charming town about three hours from Wellington with the joy of a river running through it (I do love a river town) and some humdinger vintage architecture to boot.
As is our way, we had an idea about losing the Family Money in a series of unfortunate investments, mostly a Taxidermy Theme Park. With Vollercoaster, Furry Go round and Furris Wheel.
and thusly between our Napier debut and this show, I got to work on an appropriate gown. Leopard print trimmed in fake fur, with this fetching hair piece. Matched at the back by the butt end of the wee stuffed toy sacrificed for Art. I love it so much I am going to try to find smaller ones to make sets for people with less hair real estate then I have.
We had a mad evening where it became clear early on that the audience wanted to hear songs not banter, and preferably not too risque. So at half time a whole section of songs got cut in favour of a couple of fun but safer options. This is what I love about live entertainment!

Them as loved it LOVED it. Them as didn't appreciate the nuances of digging up one's dead bride or political commentary about the patriarchy, left. Yes, it was like that!
But we had a great time as we always do, nailed a new number which is a mash up of three angsty songs from three decades, and we were upstaged by a possum. Refer the video at the end.
Happy Days!

Tasteless Fake taxidermy is my theme!

The Savage Club - weirdest place ever! It's like the Maori equivalent of a Tiki bar. Terrible but it has historical significance. And Possums.

Aren't we dapper!

Yup, possums. That's what everyone is looking at!

Royal Vauxhall and the Glasgow Festival of Burlesque!

Well I've been and done it and I'm back home! What a whirlwind it all was.
On 6 November I made my Royal Vauxhall Tavern debut in Bar Wotever. This is a weekly cabaret show featuring new and experienced performers alike, and what a thrill to meet some of London Cabaret's stalwart stars! I was made so welcome and lots of people wanted to know if I was going to be around for longer. It was so hard to leave them wanting more as I was on the train to Glasgow the next day.

Pinch me! Photography by Lea L'Attentive

SO many feathers! Photography by Lea L'Attentive

Such a darling back scratcher! Photo by Lea L'Attentive

Still my beating heart - Mercury and Maxim performed a preview from their new musical!

Thursday night show at The Glasgow Festival of Burlesque.

What an amazing time. Catching up with dear friends, meeting new ones, and I am very, VERY proud of Botanica and Fanciforia Foxglove who also performed in Glasgow and did NZ proud.

Team Kiwi!!! 

Here's a video of my show at the RVT

Four more sleeps before the UK!

I am pinching myself - only four sleeps to go. A week ago the planning board was crammed with jobs to do, and now most have a black line through them. Very satisfying.
Packing is fun. I need day time clothes as well as costumes and all of the paraphernalia that goes into making hair and face look the part. But things are looking good for a two suitcase only situation, which will allow me at the other end to only need to take one anywhere with me at a time.
It's a plan anyway.

This cross stitch pattern on Etsy is designed by a Wellington based student teacher - I love his work!

So deep am I in the details, I have really only just started to realise what is happening - when people say, see you next week and they are in Brighton!
Now for a day of trying to get my mobile phone to be set up with Roaming, which is far more complicated than anyone will admit!

Like a Rhinestone Cowgirl - how to rhinestone.

This is the costume I've been working on forever. Today I started the back of the skirt.

I refer to rhinestoning as just "stoning", and given the need to heat things in spoons on elements and little plastic baggies, frankly the whole set up is a bit Stoner!

This is how I do it. It works really, really well, does not involve toxic glues and doesn't take very long. I took photos as I went, hopefully these will illuminate the process!
You need:

My menu of rhinestones - AB Rosaline and AB Rose, AB Peridot, Peridot and Emerald. These wee baggies are worth nearly as much as I imagine they would be if they contained an illicit substance ;-) These are from www.rhinestonz.co.nz

• Something to Rhinestone (my robe as shown above)
• Flatback rhinestones - I use Arabesques because I am a cheapskate - they are fifth of the price of Swarovskis and not quite as good, but on this costume it's all about the quantity. 
• Beeswax
• A wooden skewer
• A teaspoon with a heatproof handle
• Aleene's Tacky Glue - it is by far the best glue as it holds its shape really well and dries fast. For stretch fabrics or things you will need to wash, use Aleene's Flexible and Stretchable, which isn't quite as thick but holds a blob well.
• Silicone baking paper - pretty much essential for thin fabrics or areas like sleeves where you have to have one layer of a costume over the other.
• PATIENCE

 To make an applicator stick, first cut a sliver off a block of beeswax. Pop this into the bowl of the teaspoon and put on an element to soften/melt.

 You only need a little bit of beeswax for this - you can use the rest for sniffing!

 When it is soft enough to mash up with the end of the skewer, gather up some and form a  knob of it on the skewer end. Let it get a bit firmer before using.

 I am starting with the dark green stones. I tip enough to do the job onto a lid, so I can move them around easily while working.

 While my beeswax is cooling, I turned all of the stones up this way.

I spread the gown on the kitchen bench return, over a layer of the baking paper.

 

 Now squeeze out wee blobs of the glue where you want the stones to go. With these deep green stones, I am working on the darkest branches of foliage in the pattern.

 

See how many blobs I can do in advance! You can do more than this too. The glue stays wet for plenty of time, though I wouldn't wander off halfway through to take a long phone call. I use the wax stick to gently catch the top of a rhinestone and transfer it to a blob of glue. Gently press it in.

  This is the whole branch completed. See all that white glue showing? It's a good thing! It dries clear but the ring of glue means the stone is held well in place.

This shows the second round of stoning - once I completed the first branch (top of pic) I then glued up two more.

Here's the finished area after I've gone over it again with the other colours of stones. Because this is the back, I've been pretty light-handed - the fronts have about three times as many stones. But I have found the hard way that backs of costumes get a hard time with sitting etc, so this is just about it not being obviously not done!

Top tips:

• Your beeswax applicator may get less effective if it is cold.  I use my fingers to soften it back up again. Remember you need only the lightest pressure to lift the stone and transfer. It should release really easily as a result.
•  Aleene's dries enough to peel the fabric off the paper in about an hour. Gently peel it off - it will be stuck but it will still lift. It is not dry enough to wear until at least the next day but preferably a good week of curing is best. But with a huge job like this never-ending robe, I need to shift the completed stuff so I can do the next section
• Of course you can follow a pattern - I do this too but it is far easier to follow the pattern of a piece of lace, a print or a brocade design. Same principles apply.
• If you can't find non-hot fix in your colour, get the hot fix ones and stick them on this way. It's no biggie.
• ALWAYS stretch out garments that are worn stretched, before you do them. 
• ALWAYS use a thick, tacky glue like Aleene's - if you are working on a foam cup bra or some other surface that is not flat, it won't dribble down the slope like GemTac or Tiger Grip. Not all PVA based glues are the same!

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

I'm off to Glasgow!

So exciting! 8-11 November I'll be in Scotland for the Glasgow Festival of Burlesque. I feel that the Glaswegians and Kiwis have a lot in common and if we can just understand each other it is going to be AMAZING.
Since I'll be over there anyway, I'm doing a few gigs in London too. As well as relaxing, visiting friends and family over there, sight seeing etc.

Fund raising is occurring too: more news to come!

Me saving money on costumes to save for my trip - A garden ornament as a head piece. CLASS!

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At Home with Leo, Clever and Constance!

Oh my where to begin! On 13 and 14 July, the three of us performed in the annual Winter Art Deco Festival in Napier. We packed ukuleles, a guitar, costumes and ourselves into a hire car and road tripped there on Thursday. By the time we arrived, the load had been augmented with gleanings from op shops and $2 shops in small towns along the way. We carnies love our tat!
Sharing a comfortable motel suite, we got down to eating and rehearsing, and also writing new material for the next night because, really, nothing makes performing more exciting than material so fresh you can still smell the paint!
On Friday afternoon we had a chance to check out the venue and try out the technology and HOLY MOLY!!!  The Paisley Stage is beyond words the best venue I have ever experienced. JR and Lucy have created a venue with state-of-the-art technical equipment and retro-chic comfort combined to make it just a joy to be there, whether you are performing or in the audience. We quickly got to grips with the place and went back to the motel to get ready.

 

 A long shot that shows the ceiling covered in vinyl records, the couches, and some of the incredible mural art on the walls.

 Back stage selfie with us looking VERY put together. Not feeling it though!

 On stage a typical range of expressions - Clever hooting, Leo belting and me trying to come to grips with a tambourine...

 This photo made me laugh, it looks like we are sharing a tender moment when I am actually putting my foot down about Clever doing a particular song I knew he didn't want to do!

With our beloved friend Cherry Boomb, who lives in Napier and was the one to let us know about this venue of venues. Word has it that she practically lives there!

Such a fun weekend! We sang silly songs as we do, but introduced more ensemble work with harmonies that really glue it together. And we cannot wait to do more things together.
The only down side is that I have to have a supply of avocadoes to bribe these two young ones to do what I want. It can get expensive ;-)

Winifred and Me

Am I bad???

The Art of Emceeing Part 5 - Logistics!

I've waffled on about the wibbly wobbly stuff so far, but this last post is about the GUBBINS! The stuff that makes a show work.

Intros: Most producers ask performers for intros, or bios. I generally read them, then ignore them.  Instead, I do this:

• Turn up early enough to watch the tech rehearsals. After, have a chat with the performer about their act and their character. Find out if they are wedded to their bio or hate it (most of us would rather be branded than write a bio!) Agree on a wording. Generally, especially if a performer is on more than once in an evening, I focus on introducing the act, not the performer. This is what the audience cares about. And I use a form of words that suits me and comes naturally out of my mouth. If you can't own it, change it but make sure the performer is OK with it. Nothing stinks more than an Emcee using the performer's bio or provided intro to throw them under a bus, and I see this fairly often.
• Notes - I have a terrible memory, so I take notes on with me. I have a lot of A5 sparkly cards which are handy as if the order of the show changes, I can just take on the one I need. For competitions which have all that complicated stuff, I generally take a clipboard. I always have a black Sharpie with me so I can print notes nice and big and clear as with big eyelashes and without decent light I can hardly see a thing!

 ...sparkly cards

...or an attractive clip board...

Audience warm up:  People have paid money to come see a show. It pays to warm them up as they need your permission to be responsive. But it needs to be a fun warm up, and the whole thing of making sides compete, or saying, I can't hear you, louder! is frankly lazy and hackneyed. Unless you can put a really funny spin on it which could be a huge triumph!
However you do it though, it needs doing. Different art forms have different conventions for audience behaviour and being loud and raucous is a rare requirement. A loud and happy audience really feeds the performers and that inspires them to do their best. 

Hecklers: At all times, it is important that you are the one in charge! I've Emceed over 50 shows and never had any trouble with hecklers. I've HAD hecklers, but they've never given me trouble!
First things first: get to know your venue staff. Find out what they consider acceptable behaviour and let them know what you do. Make sure you've got each others' backs. Another thing I found out by accident is to go out and talk to people. One out of town gig I did, I ended up having to put my face on in the ladies' loos. This led to meeting all the women in the audience and having a great chat with them, them warning me who was going to get plastered and give me trouble. So when I was on stage and the woman in question began to play up, I threatened by name to put her over my knee and spank her. It was hilarious and she calmed down and everyone enjoyed it. Noone lost face, and I find that this is an important thing. I throw shade but it's always pink not black if you know what I mean.
If you turn on an audience member, you run the risk of losing the rest of them as they cannot help but think that it could have been them. Antagonising an audience member can result in a boring exchange that derails the show. 

Audience Interaction: Do it, it's fun! Just make sure that it's not just the VIP tables at the front who get included, and that if you have an exchange with someone, make sure you convey their side of the conversation to the rest of the room so everyone is involved. It's usually pretty hard to hear what people yell from the audience or where it came from. So shoot your answers right to the back. Give everyone a little love.

Bits and bobs:  

• Talk to the performers back stage, but make sure you have a spot you can go to have quiet time if you need it. I find that I am in a unique position to build trust with them and that can really help a performer about to get their kit off! Even seasoned pros like to know you have their back.
• Respect a performer's character. Don't bring up their day job, or their cat. That is not a part of their stage presence, unless agreed and for a specific reason. It's not your job to out people on stage. No surprises. I've been introduced as owning a craft shop, when Constance is a life coach!! I had to point out that the Emcee had mistaken me for my dressmaker!
• NEVER stick a mic under a performer's nose without getting their permission before either of you goes near the stage. 
• NEVER touch a performer on stage. EVER, unless it is prearranged. I confess I did swipe my finger through the chocolate sauce on a performer's chest once when they had left the stage so I could lick it off as I walked on stage, but I did ask!
• NEVER make comments about their body or what you'd like to do to it unless it is a banter prearranged with the performer that will be genuinely funny. 
• NEVER get drunk. If you are not sure you can have that glass of wine and keep totally on your game, save it until after the show. We are there to entertain the audience not to be entertained ourselves.
• ALWAYS remember, pretty much any mistake will be forgotten within minutes. If we don't get to make mistakes we never learn. I have done and said some truly, nervewrackingly STUPID things onstage. It's one of the reasons I can share this with you, by experiencing what not to do.

Make it fun for everyone and they will love you and have you back, the audiences will come back, and everyone wins.

Thank you for reading my little series about being a good Emcee. I am very honoured to be nominated for Favourite Emcee again this year at the Golden Garters, having won it last year. the other nominees, Lily Loca and Miss La Vida, are absolutely fantastic Emcees whose work I respect enormously! And how cool to have an all female line up of nominations this year!!

The Art of Emceeing part 4- Working in character

Creating a character for a themed show really helps to support the theme and weave that magic. Sadie and I are lucky in that we take turns emceeing the bi-monthly show Caburlesque, which always has a theme.

I love character work so much sometimes I get carried away and do several. From Caburlesque -The British are Coming - four iconic British characters in one night. It was fun!!! And they have all come in handy over the years so it was worth it!

Characters work well if you feel you need a bit of structure and performance to feel comfortable in front of people. I tend to just busk it myself, but that's how I roll. Sadie is much more structured while also being completely spontaneous when needed. It's quite a combo let me tell you!

It's also a great way to find out what works. We did a tribute to Tim Burton and my first half character was Mrs Lovett from Sweeney Todd, my second half was The Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland.

Mrs L and Mad Hatter. It was a busy interval changing this lot up!

Mrs Lovett is a strong character with lots of back bone and easily led the show along. The Mad Hatter however, with his lispy voice and sweet smile, was actually really hard to steer. We did do a fun act at the end which has since become of my most requested acts, but for Emceeing, not so good.

Early on in my "career" as an Emcee I did a masterclass with Dusty Limits, who to me is the last word in awesomeness, and he asserts that only "alpha" characters make good Emcees. There's always an exception, but I can honestly say that an assertive, even stroppy character, provides stronger leadership to the show.

It's still important for the character to respect the energy and space of the show - a character who is a creep is still a creep, you know? Abusing the audience as a character is no more entertaining to the audience than an abusive person NOT in character.

Character is simply not an excuse to behave badly. Misogyny, audience baiting or mocking or abusing or insulting, throwing performers under the bus - is NEVER ok.

Absolutely have fun with the audience, tease them a bit, all in the name of a bit of fun, even a bit barbed and spicey is ok. But you need to read the audience and if it goes too far; come back.

A week of Wellington Drag

It's Pride week and The Wireless has run a daily article on Wellington and New Zealand Drag Artists.

Photo by Ezra Simons

Yours Truly was asked to be spokesperson for drag artists who portray their assigned gender. Baz the journalist likes the term bio queen, but I do not. For a start, the important word is Drag, and all the alt terms offered for ftf or mtm drag replace that word! So, I choose Drag Artist for all, and if anyone is that interested in what is being tucked or taped, they'll have to come to a show ;-)
From our Wednesday article, you can easily find the Monday one on the influence of RuPaul, Tuesday on our darling Drag Kings, Thursday's interview with Trixie Martell, and Friday's photo essay on a big group of local drag artists who were able to make the photo shoot. I did mine at 6pm but the Friday group shots were late on Thursday night, far past my bed time!

The Art of Emceeing part 3 - Being vs Doing

In my last post I talked about wrapping the show in fun, focussing on what is happening in the room and the show, and working the audience to create a supportive atmosphere. 
And that it is not what you do, so much as what you bring to what you do, that is the clincher.
I'm going out on a limb to say that what is really needed is YIN energy. The gentler energy that is still fun and full on but there's no competitiveness, the humour is facetious and playful and engaging, not aggressive and oppositional. This is not about the gender of the Emcee, by the way - but about their energy. 

YIN ENERGY!!!

I say this because this energy does not compete with the performances. if I seem to be making this point quite a bit, it's because it is SO important. And yang energy, with its misogynistic jokes and male gaze just channels the audience into seeing the performers as something to ogle at, no magic, no glitter. Objectifying. Centuries of a culture where men look at women and judge them, against 20 or so years of Burlesque where performers have real agency and call the shots* - we NEED to pro-actively work this new space, and it's hard; but it is so worth it. I'd also say that while women get away with saying things that men can't, it's still not gender specific.
Now I am saying this but some people will say, "Oh but X is so FUNNY and audiences love them!" the value of X being an Emcee who relies on the yang energy to get through. 
To them I say this. Go out at the interval or after the show and talk to the audience. You will find that you get two types of responses. The feminists may be seething with frustration as they can see what is going on and they've been trying to hold a different space. Others are often likely to say, "Oh, that X is hilarious!" and if you ask them how they are enjoying the acts, don't be surprised if they are polite but less enthusiastic, unless an act is high energy with a big punchline delivered. The approach and energy of the Emcee casts a glamour over them and if that glamour has the audience looking at the show in a judgy, objectifying way, this is not good!
But enough about X. I've only gone into what I feel does not work in order to help define what DOES work. Next post I will focus on detailing the positives more!

Curtain call of our Caburlesque Weird and Quirky show. It sure was!!

*I say the last 20 years knowing that the 20th Century has so many heroines and legends of Burlesque that were claiming the stage well before the 90s. But in the last 20 years the audiences for Burlesque have become predominantly women.

The Art of Emceeing part 2 - Weaving the Glamour

Did you know that the word "glamour" originally meant a magic spell, like shape shifting? Glamour as we now understand it, IS a magic spell - it is about creating an illusion, about getting people to see what we want them to see.
Me, I am an old, fat, grumpy. lady - three things that are about as glamorous as cold spaghetti. But I can also be this:

An old, fat, grumpy, funny and sparkly lady! 

Glamour in both of its meanings is what makes or breaks a Burlesque show. It doesn't have to be sparkly though - Sadie von Scrumptious absolutely nailed emceeing the Nerdlesque show as "Immortan Hoe" a parody of the villain from the most recent Mad Max movie

More on the fun of character work in a later post! 

Absolutely we can give 'em both barrels of rhinestones and sequins, but the glamour goes far beyond the costume.

Please bear with me as I lay out a bit of context.

Burlesque is entertainment - obviously. The object of that entertainment - the Entertained as it were, is the Audience. They buy the tickets and the drinks and they keep us in business.

The "Muggle" audience i.e. the audience who are not performers themselves, come with a range of expectations. They may expect fans and boas and Dita von Teese, or the cast of that awful movie Burlesque*. What they actually get is a range of abilities and levels of experience, delivered by a range of body types and age groups, often in a way that is VERY different from the sexy male gaze thing they expected! Our Neo scene here is pretty off the wall!

To me, the real "Glamour" and the first and foremost job of an Emcee is to make sure the audience is in the zone to appreciate the show they will be getting, and not to miss any one they thought they were going to get! Scoop 'em up and take 'em along for the ride!

And the way to do that is to wrap the show in fun, focus on what is happening in the room and the show, and work the audience to create a supportive atmosphere. Then EVERYONE has a blast.

This extends way beyond the obvious but important things like warm ups and spot prizes. It's such a big thing, I'll try and split it into future, focussed posts.

Bye for now - thanks for reading!

*I don't mind the movie, it's quite fun but it is NOT any Burlesque I've ever seen! I do sing the Welcome to Burlesque song but with a heavy lyrical rewrite to be funny and warm and not basically procurement of the performers (EEEW)

The art of being an Emcee - part 1

Darlings, I know I am far from perfect, but I have been doing this Emcee business for a long time and have been mentored by far more experienced Emcees than myself.
I am very keen to see good Emcees come out of our community, because an Emcee can make or break a show.
If you are phased or intimidated by this thought, it's quite likely you will make a much better Emcee than someone who never thinks about it all!
So I thought I would put together a series of posts that go into what works and what doesn't work. This hopefully will inform:

• anyone who has been toying with trying it out - hopefully it will give you some courage to try!
• emerging Emcees - you may have given it a go and you're not sure what worked and didn't work, making it hard to replicate and improve.
• producers - how do you know what to look for in an Emcee? It's your reputation on the line after all.
• performers - sometimes knowing how Emcees operate can help you work better with them.

Why does it matter though. Surely the Acts are more important? 

Well, that's the paradox.

The Acts ARE more important. Being a successful Emcee is as much about knowing how to balance being entertaining and funny with framing the real stars of the show instead of upstaging them.

A non-performer friend of mine has been to some shows I have Emceed and gotten really inspired by the performers into trying burlesque classes herself. The last show she went to however was without me, and I know it would have been at least as good as the others. Her feedback however was that the acts did not seem as good. She is insightful enough to observe that this was probably down to the male comedian Emcee who did nothing to weave an air of mystique or glamour around the performances. The result was that they didn't show up as well as he did. This is so wrong, and it has consequences. Who is going to keep going to burlesque shows if they think the acts aren't that good? There's a huge difference between being inspired and being bored. Inspired comes back for more; bored doesn't.

As performers, we see what is on stage differently than the audience does- the magic is almost always there for us no matter what. The trouble is, we need to make sure the audience experiences that magic too, which is the Emcee's job. We need them to come back and bring their friends, otherwise we're just watching each other and that is an ever decreasing circle, not an expanding one. 

Thanks for reading!